I have been asked a couple of times, “if you meditate, and do all this “holistic stuff”, how come you’re not always calm?”
I think that is a good question. Just because people meditate, do yoga, eat well and do all that other “holistic stuff” does not automatically mean that they are in a constant state of Zen and bliss. It does not make you behave like Mother Theresa or a Buddhist Nun, 24/7. And it certainly doesn’t mean that you stop feeling emotions like anger and sadness.
So if you start to meditate and do yoga, expecting to feel calm all the time, and never get upset or angry, and suddenly have a calm mind, then you are going to be very disappointed, I’m afraid.
What meditation will do for you, is teach you to become aware of how your mind acts and thinks, and build awareness around the emotions that come with those thoughts. Over time (and I emphasize “over time”) you learn to become unattached to those thoughts and emotions. You learn to sit with what is, and be ok with it. It doesn’t mean they will go away, it just means that you learn to deal with them better.
Through daily meditation, a regular yoga practice and a “holistic lifestyle”, I now have the ability to really look at myself, and have gained a greater sense of self-awareness. I know what I’m like. I know all my positive traits. And equally, I know all the negative traits too.
Before I started this holistic journey, I HATED that I was introverted, and people probably thought I was being rude. I HATED that I was sensitive and things hurt me really easily. I HATED that I care too much about people, and what they thought of me.
But through my practice, I have learned the ability to be able to just sit with my mind and my thoughts and observe them. I have learned to just go with it, and accept it all… the good, the bad and the bloody disgraceful.
And love myself anyway 🙂
I have learned that emotions and thoughts are like waves in the ocean… as quick as they come into shore, they are pulled back out again, and are gone. So there is no point jumping on that wave and trying to attached yourself to it. Instead, just see and feel that it’s there… acknowledge it…learn from it… and let it go.
And this takes practice, every single day. I am better than I was, but I have a long way to go.
I am not ashamed of who I am anymore. I accept myself completely, and know where I can grow and flourish as a person. And I can honestly, whole-heartedly thank yoga, meditation and all the other “holistic stuff” for that gift.